Write the Second Chapter of My Book

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Astral plane

So, this is my creative piece. It has some interesting ideas and plot twists. I hope to get your feedback on this subject because i enjoyed donig this. It has some room for improvement (more words, of course) and fix any possible errors

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  • Ishmael17
    Organizador del concurso
    • 9 años atrás

    Hello, and thanks for the entry! Yes, there are a few errors in punctuation. Also, the story should be written all in the same tense. Lastly, a lot of the characters are very direct. Subtlety is appreciated! :)

    • 9 años atrás
    1. greenraven91
      greenraven91
      • 9 años atrás

      thanks for future hints, it was doing this

      • 9 años atrás
    2. greenraven91
      greenraven91
      • 9 años atrás

      fun*

      • 9 años atrás