I need to know if you are looking for me to do the graphic design, as well as database backend.
I am involved in some video and audio broadcasting sites and adult members pages right now.
I understand you are looking to create something inbetween a dating site, with features of adult sites too.
This is a very advanced community, with a lot of needs.
It might be a good idea to research some Open Source (premade and FREE) modules, such as chat, and forums.
Other advanced features can be custom built.
Have you chosen a credit card processor?