Funny Description writing

I need a small 200-300 word description made for a friend of mine. The description should be silly and if possible rhyme at some points. The description is regarding a girl. Things to add into the description: She eats all the chocolate pastries in the buffet She is a doomsday/end of the world addict. She'd rather live in a "tiny house" (look this up if you don't know what it is) She rocks her butt when she sleeps. Her mom's name is gidgette she's spontaneous and adventurous She'll drop everything and fly to mexico just for fun. She's blonde like a barbie the hotel room service thought she killed someone in the bed. she drinks vodka like a fish. Below is an example of the description i like. Fill in the missing words with just funny rhymes or comments like below. I party like its 1999. i am americas next top model. i never perspire. my strengths outweigh my weaknesses. i am constantly caller number 9 and win tickets to all the best shows. i bat 400. i have made extraordinary four course meals using only a spatula and a toaster oven. im a stellar hugger and a world class cuddler. i dance with the stars. i consistently beat Chuck Norris in arm-wrestling. i once read paradise lost, the odyssey and war & peace all in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. i shower daily. critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. sushi is my favorite food group. i bake 30 minute brownies in 20 minutes flat. moms love me and children wanna be me. i know the exact location of every item in the supermarket. i always pick the most fullest and symetrical christmas trees. on wednesdays, after practice, i repair electrical appliances free of charge. i eat soup, i'm a go-getta. i sleep once a day. basically i rock.