Cut wordcount, Review and Proofread a Disertation Significance

It is my dissertation proposal and I want to have a stronger significance. I need somebody to reduce the number of pages from 4 to 2 and a half at last (it has 2597 words), proofread the document and to review the proposal and give me suggestions using the following items: (1) Explanation of the importance of the problem or critical barrier to progress in the field that the proposed project addresses, (2) Explanation of how the proposed project will improve scientific knowledge, technical capability, and/or clinical practice in one or more broad fields, and (3) Description of how the concepts, methods, technologies, treatments, services, or preventative interventions that drive this field will be changed if the proposed aims are achieved.